


Swim Through Your Veins Like a Fish in the Sea

by WhatEvenAmI



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Caretaking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Gen, Legos, Light Dom/sub, Non-Sexual Age Play, Relationship Negotiation, Self-Acceptance, Teddy Bears, Wetting, dom venom, if you squint a little - Freeform, in an unconventional way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-08-25 19:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16667209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatEvenAmI/pseuds/WhatEvenAmI
Summary: Venom wants to make sure his host is thriving and well cared-for, in every way possible.That includes indulging his most secret desires.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work was a request from someone who wished to remain anonymous.

It happens when they’re passing by a little old family-owned toy shop, taking a long route home from work. Eddie felt like walking—he’s been doing that a lot recently, in lieu of drinking himself to sleep, trying to process all the wild crap that’s happened in the past couple weeks.

As they walk by the little pastel shop, Eddie feels a sharp tug in his core, definitely different from the longing little pull he’s felt ever since he got too old for toy stores. He used to play this dumb little game, where he pretended he was small and had someone to take care of him _—_ in the next room, maybe, fetching him juice and snacks. He even—he’s never told anyone this—kept his favorite stuffed bear from his childhood, because it helped get him in the right mindset to pretend he really was small and cared-for. The bear, once named Barnaby Bear, (but changed to Bobo Bush in his teens as a little joke,) now sits in his closet behind his seldom-used running shoes. He shelved it when he started seeing his first long-term girlfriend, knowing the kind of impression it might leave if she saw him still sleeping with his childhood teddy. He’s refused to let himself indulge in his pathetic little hobby since.

But now it's his insistent little parasite that's tugging him into the shop, moving his hand towards the ornate little knob. “What do you want here?” Eddie mutters under his breath, “If I get you a pacifier will it make you keep quiet? Want me to get you out of my body, wheel you around in a little stroller?”

 _You’re very amusing_ , comes Venom’s low, gravelly voice in his ear. _No, Eddie. Do you forget that, bonded as we are, I can read through your thoughts and desires like a picture book?_

Oh, _God_. Eddie’s known, but in all the whirlwind of the past couple weeks, he hadn’t stopped to think about the fact that Venom can hear all his most embarrassing inner thoughts. Like his first crush freshman year of high school, Maureen Gould, the subject of his first wet dream and many more after that, but never approached in person. Or when he decided to try out skateboarding because he thought it seemed cool but then his skateboard slipped and he fell hard on his ass and had to go sit pantsless in the hospital to make sure he hadn’t broken his tailbone. Or _this_ , this weird, pathetic reluctance to fully grow up.

_And you are aware that, as your healer and protector, it is my duty to see to it that your needs are fully met?_

Eddie’s stomach swoops a little, but he still tries to play it off as a joke, out of habit. “What, you want me to call you Daddy?” he asks, half-derisive, half-hopeful.

 _If it pleases you, and makes you well,_  comes the response in his head, with pure sincerity.

“Fuck it,” Eddie mutters, which seems to be the entirety of his decision-making process of late. He lets his symbiote guide him deeper into the shop, scanning the rows and rows of baby dolls, hand-painted building blocks, a brightly colored array of plush animals. “What do you want me to get?”

 _Whatever your heart desires_ , Venom responds, and in spite of himself, Eddie feels a glow radiating from his belly, leaving him feeling little and warm.

*

Half an hour later, he’s back in his apartment, dressed in a pair of pajama pants and his coziest sweater. It’ll have to do until he’s been able to find some real little clothes, something to make him really _feel_ small.

Tendrils of Venom's darkness emerge on his hands, helping him to open all his purchases and lay them out on his bed. There’s a box of chunky Lego Duplos, a transparent snowman-themed sippy cup with silver glitter that drifts around the inner walls of the cup whenever it’s upended, a toy bulldozer and a toy crane, and a little blue bear with a navy plaid ribbon around its neck and a pink velvet nose that’s so comforting to rub with his fingers. There were so many stuffed animals in the store, he had started to feel overwhelmed, until Venom had guided him towards the section for younger children, all soft fuzziness and comforting pastels. He had been immediately drawn to the bear, and at Venom’s urging, he picked it up. In his mind, he’s already calling it Benjamin.

He was amazed at how easy it was to purchase these things, expecting the cashier to raise an eyebrow, to have to make some excuse about a gift for a nephew or something of the sort. He’d temporarily forgotten _—_ it had been eclipsed by his shame, the habit of hiding his secret desire—that in a big city like this one, no one cares what a stranger is doing or buying. He could get anything he wants. They’re starting out small, to see what works best for Eddie. But he could get baby bottles, soft pastel blankets, diapers—

Well. He runs his fingers over Benjamin’s nose. Maybe he can’t bring himself to go that far. But he’s a little intrigued by the possibility of letting himself be so needy and depended, padded and little and trusting. At least not yet. This whole “having-a-parasite—”

_—Hey!—_

“—taking-care-of-all-his-needs-and-reading-all-his-thoughts” thing is still pretty new. He’s barely hosted Venom for two weeks. They’ll ease into this, figure it out as they go.

Part of him wants to take out the Legos and play with them, but he doubts he’d be able to feel anything other than ridiculous doing that. He’s always needed some time to really get into the headspace, and his nerves will be amplified being watched by his new caregiver. He’d just feel like a grown man playing with baby blocks. Instead, he shoves them into the back of his closet, and takes his new sippy cup to the kitchen.

 _Don’t fill that with beer,_ Venom orders, and Eddie sulks. For once he’s actually got more than just beer in his fridge, but the booze would leave him feeling relaxed and warm, maybe a little less embarrassed to be trying this out.

_I said no. No crutches, no vices. Milk! For optimum health! And strong bones!_

Eddie sighs. “Then you pour it... _Daddy_ ,” he says, sulky and sassy both.

Venom takes over his body then, but more warmly and gently than usual. There’s the feeling of the symbiote flooding into his muscles, and then Venom is pouring the milk for him, and guiding his body back to the bedroom. It’s almost like the symbiote is carrying him.

A long black tentacle snakes out from his chest, pulling back his sheets to invite him into the bed. Eddie gratefully crawls between the sheets and lets Venom tuck him in, smoothing the sheets down over his chest. The tentacle reaches down to the foot of the bed and pulls the new bear close, tucking him securely into Eddie’s arms.

Eddie curls up on his side, clutching Benjamin Bear and rubbing his velvety nose, and feels the sudden absence of his symbiote, emptiness and hollowness feeling so strange even after just two weeks of hosting Venom inside of him. _Don’t go_ , he wants to plead, but soon enough Venom’s slithery black form is oozing back up onto the bed, spreading out over him like a security blanket, and Eddie feels the reassuring warmth as his symbiote reconnects with his chest and spreads steadily through him once more. He stays wrapped over Eddie’s body, though, like a slick but surprisingly warm security blankie, and Eddie finds an edge somewhere in the writhing mass and grabs on for comfort.

And then there’s a soft, familiar-smelling item being pressed into the crook of his arm and Eddie realizes what Venom left to get. “Barnaby Bear!” he says, delighted, snuggling his worn and brown and floppy old friend, inhaling deeply. The smell washes over him, leaving him feeling so safe and calm. Genuinely and without hesitation, he murmurs, “Thank you, Daddy.”

_You’re very welcome, young one._

A sunshine-like fuzziness spreads through him at the little nickname, and he presses his head into his symbiote in affection. Through their shared mind Eddie can  _feel_ the contentment radiating out of him at the strengthened closeness of their bond. At being able to provide so perfectly for his host and friend, his precious little charge.

For a moment, they hold still like that enjoying a mutual bond that feeds one's happiness into the other, radiating between them with intensity Eddie has never experienced with even his mother and father.

But then of course Eddie has to take Barnaby and Benjamin and nuzzle their noses together to introduce them. He doesn’t want Barnaby to get jealous; there’ll never be another bear like him. But Benjamin Bear is special too, because he’s the first bear his new daddy helped him get. He hugs them tight against his chest all cozy, to show them that he loves them both the same amount, just in different ways.

 _My name is Benjamin,_ whispers the new bear,  _I'm just a baby bear. Will you play with me?_

 _I will play with you after a nap, little baby bear,_ Barnaby answers. He's an older bear, more worn-in. He likes to get his rest.

 _Aww, but I wanna play now!_ Benjamin pleads.

 _Here, you can come lay with me and Eddie, and I'll tell you stories,_ Barnaby sighs, a little weary but mostly affectionate. He likes to tell stories from when he was just a cub.

 _Oh, all right,_ concedes Benjamin Bear, and they snuggle up close for bear stories.

Eddie's Venom-blanket wraps warmly over him once more. And a tentacle is holding the sippy cup of milk to his lips, and as he suckles on it, another one rises forth to gently stroke his cheek.

His daddy knows him, inside and out, knows everything he wants and needs. As Eddie suckles on his sippy and snuggles his bears, he closes his eyes and lets himself be lulled to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Venom work out the terms of their new arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a request to post more of this. I'm always happy to please! I think that after this chapter, this series will likely become just prompt-based ficlets within this universe, not necessarily in chronological order, but it all depends what prompts I receive.
> 
> (Man, this took AGES for me to write. Major shout-out to the person who requested this for their patience while I dealt with lots of life complications!)

Eddie wakes up feeling more well-rested than he has in weeks.

Venom is still blanketed snugly over him and it only takes a moment for him to remember what happened to get him here, snuggled up against a pair of teddy bears, the familiar and well-worn nubbly texture of Barnaby and the brand-new, fuzzy texture of Benjamin.

He let himself be small, and vulnerable, and he survived it. Nothing bad happened. Venom's still here, holding him warmly, letting him wake up nice and slow. Eddie wonders if he can let himself be little some more, just for a while. He had wanted to start out gradually, ease into it, but he's been yearning for this for so long and now that he has it, it's just so hard to give it up. 

 _Hello, young one,_ Venom's voice sounds in his head, uncharacteristically quiet and soft.  _You've slept well. That's good._

And fuck it, Eddie just lets himself fall into it and let his daddy take charge. If Venom wants to keep looking after him, he'll let it happen without any protest. "Yeah. I was sleepy. And Barnaby was too."

 _Barnaby Bear?_ There's a trace of amusement in Venom's voice.

"Uh-huh." Eddie knows Venom can see inside his head and probably knows all this stuff anyway, but he finds himself kind of excited to talk to someone about Barnaby Bear. "He's an old bear, so he likes to rest a lot and be lazy sometimes. He still likes to play though, just like when he was a cub."

_Oh? What does he like to play?_

Eddie smiles a big smile, absently stroking Barnaby's head. Venom's only been his daddy for a little bit but he's already  _so good_ at it, making him feel small and loved and excited to talk about all his favorite stuff. "Pretend games. Like sometimes he's a doctor bear or a firefighter. He likes to dress up like those things too, if there are dress-up clothes. And he likes to read, and also tell stories from back when he was younger."

_And what about the other bear? Benjamin, was it?_

"Uh-huh, yeah. I think he's just a little bear, like a cub." He doesn't know a whole lot about him just yet, 'cause he's so new.

_Just like you?_

"Yeah." Eddie feels all warm and fuzzy inside at that, and he hugs the soft blue bear tight to his chest. He imagines he's hugging it to Venom too and squeezes Benjamin super tight. 

_Well, Eddie, you've been needing this respite for some time. Shall we take some time to play with your bears before dinner?_

He considers. It's kinda hard to get in the mood to play, since he's still feeling so nervous and new to this. He feels pretty little, and safe about it, since Venom's so good at understanding what he needs, but it's still kinda shaky. He  _wants_ it, really really bad. He just doesn't feel ready yet. 

"I guess we could have the bears tell each other stories," he says hesitantly. Then he wouldn't have to do anything. Even if he got big again, he wouldn't feel too silly just sitting on his bed with the two bears.

_Very well. The bears shall tell stories._

Eddie smiles as he feels Venom settling cozily in his mind for storytime, like he's putting on his listening ears. Benjamin goes in Barnaby's lap for storytime. Barnaby would like a nice cup of tea, but Eddie doesn't feel like getting up and getting one. Still, maybe they can get a little tea set for Barnaby one of these days. If Venom really wants to be his daddy, they can get anything they want for the bears.

"Back when I was a little bear cub," Barnaby begins, "I went out on an adventure in a nice little field with my good friends, Spot and Pat." Those were a pair of stuffed dogs that Eddie used to have. He didn't save them too, though, because Barnaby was the most special. It kinda makes him sad that all his old toys are gone, but his new daddy can take him to get lots of friends for Ben and Barnaby now.

"An adventure all by yourself?" Ben has a much littler voice, unlike Barnaby's old creaky one that sounds like Eddie's grandpa's voice used to. 

"Oh, yes. We were out playing in a field, and we found so many exciting things. We also gathered big rocks and sticks, and we made a big fort, in case enemies came."

"Did they come, Barnaby Bear?" Benjamin's shaking with nerves in Eddie's hand. He's much too little to go so far away without a grown-up to hold his paw, especially to a place where there might be enemies lurking about.

"Oh, yes. But we had food in the fort, and lots of rocks to throw, and we fought and fought until they all ran away, or fell over and were dead, and we made it back home for supper and honey and tea. But Spot and Pat didn't have any of that, because dogs don't like honey as much as bears."

"Wow..." Benjamin can't believe it. "I'd like to go out on adventures sometime, but only with you, Barnaby. I don't want to go all by myself."

Barnaby snuggles Benjamin closely. "We're going to have lots and lots of adventures together, I think," he says, "And I'll protect you from the enemies, don't you worry. And then we'll have lots of tea with honey, and cookies with more honey, and we can tell lots and lots of stories about what we did."

"Can we go on an adventure now?" Benjamin is so eager. "Can we please? Not very far, not yet, I'm too scared to go. But if you held my paw I could go off of the bed and all around the room, maybe!" He's feeling so brave, with his friend right beside him.

Barnaby is eager to go. He hasn't been out on an adventure in a pretty long time. So he reaches out and joins paws with the little blue bear, and they both hop off the bed. Barnaby is careful to make sure Benjamin lands on top of him so he won't get hurt.

"Whoa!" Ben says. He's just looking all around the floor, which is kind of dusty, but that doesn't matter to the little bear cub. He's never seen anyone's bedroom floor before, and everything around him looks so big from down here. It makes him kinda nervous, but he's still holding Barnaby's paw. "What should we explore first?"

They start by looking under the bed, which has a couple pairs of shoes, lots of missing socks, and a tennis ball. Benjamin wants to play with the ball, but Eddie can't reach it. Venom snakes out a tentacle, though, and gets it for him, and Benjamin gives the tentacle a little kiss in thanks. Benjamin rolls the ball all around. Eddie kind of has to go potty but it's been so long since he got to really play that he doesn't wanna stop just yet. Benjamin accidentally bumps the ball all the way across the room, so he has to be really brave and hold Barnaby's paw to go and get it. He's so young and new that even the trip across the room feels like a huge adventure for him.

Slowly, slowly, he creeps out from behind the bed and darts over to the corner where the ball rests. Barnaby hurries along after him, to make sure he won't be scared. There aren't any dangerous enemies in the room, or anything really scary here, but Benjamin doesn't know that. He takes a minute, though, amazed to explore a whole bunch of new stuff he finds in the room, like a big heavy book that they could totally use to build a fort sometime or a pair of pants he could hide from bad guys in. He's small, and he can fit in the leg hole. He tests it out to show Barnaby how he'll keep safe if the bad guys ever come here.

 _Eddie,_ Venom says. His voice is kind of urgent. 

"What?" Eddie asks, a little impatient. He wants to get back to playing so Benjamin can explore all the new stuff. He hasn't had a chance to set up what everything's going to be like in his little world when he's a kid like this. He's super excited to start figuring it all out, even if this adventure is kinda boring. It's comfortable, and safe, and he doesn't have to take it beyond the shelter of his bedroom until he's all ready, and Barnaby and Benjamin are too. 

_You need to go to the bathroom._

He  _does_ have to go kinda bad. But he doesn't wanna stop exploring his new world. It's been so long and he's wanted this forever and now he's finally getting a chance to set it all up. How can he stop until he's all done with the bear adventure?

_You should go now. You could hurt yourself._

Eddie sighs. He likes that his daddy's already trying to take the best care of him, but he doesn't wanna be bossed into something when he's right in the middle of an adventure!

 _Eddie,_ Venom says warningly.

"I'm gonna go!" Eddie says impatiently, "I just wanna finish this game first!" Barnaby is taking his newfound ball back to the bed. He's decided it's going to be his very favorite toy because it's the first thing he ever played with and had fun with, but now Barnaby and Benjamin have to figure out how to get back up on the bed. It's so tall, and Benjamin can't jump that high. But bears are pretty good climbers, so Barnaby tells Benjamin to climb on his back, and they slowly start to climb up the sheets. Benjamin isn't that heavy, but he's holding onto the ball too, and Barnaby hasn't gone on adventures or practiced his climbing in a really long time. He slips, and Benjamin gasps. But Barnaby saves them! He uses his claws to catch onto the blankets and keeps on hauling them up, little by little. Finally, panting, they climb over the edge of the bed and catch their breath.

"That was so scary!" Benjamin says, "We almost fell off a cliff!"

"It's just the bed, silly," Barnaby says. But it's big enough that maybe it could feel like a cliff to a little bear cub. Actually, maybe sometimes when Eddie plays games it will be a cliff. 

Now that their adventure is over, Benjamin wants to be tucked in all snuggly with his new tennis ball. It's when Barnaby's tucking him in that Eddie feels a burning tightness in his lower belly and realizes just how bad he's gotta go.

 _Eddie!_ Venom hisses urgently, and Eddie's dropping the bears to hold himself down there, and Venom is making his body _move_ and he's trying so hard to fight it, he doesn't wanna, he doesn't want his body to be moved like this with no control, and no matter how hard he tries, a trickle of pee is still escaping him and there's a wet spot on his leg. The panic of wetting and his body being taken over drags him sharply up out of the fragile little warm spot he'd constructed for himself in his brain. Now he's standing here stupidly as a fully grown man again, a grown man who's almost pissed his pants because he was so caught up in a child's teddy bear game, still clutching his groin like a toddler. At least Venom seems to have realized how bad an idea it was to take control of him like that. He's let go of his hold now, hovering uncertainly in the back of Eddie's mind.

When he's certain he can move without pissing all over the floor, he trudges to the bathroom. "Don't you fucking say 'I told you so,'" he mutters, his face flushed with heat. This was a stupid idea, a stupid, weak, idiot idea, letting himself be so vulnerable, acting like a little kid. 

The pants, stained with a small wet spot on one thigh, get buried deep in his laundry basket, even though there's no one else living here to see. Venom tries to say something to him, but Eddie won't let him. "This was a terrible idea, and I've made an idiot of myself, and we're not gonna talk about it right now. Or maybe ever. And I'm getting myself a beer!"

Venom heaves a deep, guttural sigh that Eddie can feel throughout his body, wordlessly conveying how _done_ he is with Eddie's shitty coping mechanisms. Oh fucking well. At least this one is normal for grown men.

Eddie takes down his first beer in two good gulps, reaches for another, and sets up his laptop to binge-watch whatever's next in his Netflix lineup. He tries not to mourn for what he thought he was going to have. He can't make such a dumbass of himself again.

 _I've seen you make a dumbass of yourself plenty of times,_ Venom helpfully reminds him from some corner of his brain where his shame is festering.  _I know about every dumbass thing you've ever done._

"Thanks for that, asshole." Eddie takes another good swig of beer. Cold, sharp fizz, a bittersweet break. Numbing, hopefully. He doesn't particularly want to think about every dumbass thing he's ever done. Not right now, that's for sure.

 _I meant that in a more positive way._  Venom pauses. _Eddie. I'm still here._

"You need me to live," Eddie points out. 

_You know what I meant. Your secrets belong to me, and mine to you. I'll never betray yours. I've still got us, Eddie._

Eddie sighs, calm breaking through his anxiety and shame, perhaps with some help from the beer. "Yeah, yeah, all right. You've got us. We're still not having this discussion right now. Actually, I'm gonna need several days and a few drinks before we talk about it."

The deep, guttural sigh again. "I know, buddy," Eddie heaves a sigh of his own. "It's stressful, to live in my head. I'm in here too."

 _We're going to take care of it, Eddie,_ Venom says, his voice strangely paternal, and Eddie can't help the wave of comfort that washes over him, the wave of longing and desire. He wants Venom to take care of it, he does. Take care of it, and him, and all his anxieties, his racing thoughts, his secret forbidden well of need.

*

In the following days he refuses to probe again at that small, wounded part of himself. He curls around it, protecting it, protecting his shame and his weakness, his unconventional needs. 

Instead he throws himself into his work and he drinks in his time off and he tries to pretend that it's enough for him, that he's not thinking about it, the fragile rising of hope crushed by a feeling of utter foolishness. Venom is distressed, he can tell, by his agitation, and even more distressed to have been the cause of it. Eddie ignores his increasingly insistent urging to address the issue, overwhelmed by the creeping humiliation every time he gives brief thought to it. He knows he's not doing right by his symbiote by letting him worry and stress over this issue. Venom wanted so deeply to take proper care of him; Eddie shouldn't be letting him hang just for getting it wrong on their first try.

But he notes that Venom doesn't make any effort to stop him from hiding his badly bruised ego. Doesn't prevent him from going straight for a drink after work, even though he easily could. He's being warier of seizing control since the incident in the bedroom; as Venom can see his thoughts, Eddie can feel his symbiote's inner reasonings in return, his newfound understanding of what bodily control means to a person and the devastating psychological consequences of having it taken away in a heartbeat. He doesn't  _want_ to do that to Eddie. So he's patient, no matter how much he doesn't want to be.

But they can't go on like this forever. In order to recover what they had, they have to talk about it. _Dammit_. 

On the (somewhat more) bright side, Venom's been clear that he thinks no less of Eddie for what happened, and why would he? He already knows any and all other secrets Eddie possesses. And his offer hasn't been rescinded. 

They're going to move forward; they're going to be okay. The thing is, it's not a matter of Venom being okay with Eddie's needs. It's about Eddie becoming okay with them. With every part of himself.

It occurs to him, for the first time since he became aware of the odd nature of his childish desires, that that might be something worth working for.

*

His epiphany helps him break out of the self-pitying shell he'd built up around himself and open up with Venom a little bit more. Still, it's more than a week before he lets Venom nag him into getting online and doing some research. He somehow doesn't think they'll have anything on this at the local library. A quick Google search yields a surprising page after page of results, and Eddie can't believe, in all his time doing deep-web background searches, he never thought to look into _this_. He'd honestly thought, before now, that this was a singular case of pathetic fucked-upness unique to him alone. And so he'd shelved the desire and acted like a grown-up and gone on with his life, seldom indulging himself in little moments of pretend.

But there's a wide variety of people who apparently "ageplay", sometimes even in large groups or meetups. Eddie can't imagine letting himself be seen in the state he was before by a million other grown adults playing as "littles". But there are others who just create little dynamics; a "mommy" or a "daddy" all for themselves, or maybe with a "little" sibling or two. He hungrily combs through blog posts and videos from these ageplayers, astounded at the way their words fill in a particular child-shaped hole in his heart. 

Venom reads along with him, perched on his shoulder, hungry for information, and it occurs to Eddie as he reads a post from a Daddy of a young man who regresses to toddlerhood as a way to regain an innocence and sense of trust that he's missed from that age on, that this really is a two-way street. Not just for him and Venom, engaged in symbiosis, each filling in for the weaknesses of the other, but for all the Mommies, Daddies, and other various Bigs he finds in his searches. It's not just about what the regressor gets from letting go of the burdens of an adult mind; there's some level of mutualism, some mental reward for the caregiver. 

Which is an entirely new idea, at least for him. His own mother and father hadn't been unloving, not at all, but they'd definitely adhered to a certain toughness about the love they gave. His father had laid it out for him whenever he'd misbehaved, or acted particularly childish, or been resentful about taking on new responsibilities as he grew.  _I'm your dad, Eddie, and I'm gonna love you no matter what. But the rest of the world, it don't feel the same way about you, so if you want to make it, you better step up and act like a grown-up._

"Venom, buddy?"

_Yes?_

"Did you enjoy it? Being a...being "daddy", I mean." He feels weird saying it out loud, in his entirely adult mental state. "Is there anything in it for you?"

 _Yes._ Venom is unflinchingly candid and unselfconscious in this matter. For some reason, it's reassuring; Venom's never anything but honest, often brutally so.  _I'm meant to take care of you. But the way I've come to care about you...it feels good to me, meeting your needs. Exceeding them. Making you feel so fully well. I've got you, Eddie. And I do like that._

 _Oh._  Eddie can't help the small smile that forms on his face, the flood of warmth in his chest. "I...I like it too. Knowing you've got me. It's nice, not having to hold all my own shit together all the time.

 _I'm glad,_ Venom says warmly.  _I'm always glad to hold your shit together._

"That's a damn rare thing in this world." His father's little speech from his childhood's still echoing in his ears. And yet, there are all these caregivers out there signing up to bond with a Little. Letting them whine, making sure they eat, giving them the same attentive care one gives a real child. Even taking them to events where they can be a kid with other adult Littles. 

_I am a rare thing in this world, Eddie._

"That you are." Eddie quickly closes out a window advertising ageplay supplies; adult-sized onesies, patterned pull-ups, even bulky tape diapers. He's so not ready to think about the existence of that stuff, or address the fact that part of him might actually want to use it. There's other stuff on there he doesn't want to think about at all; pastel-colored spreader bars and gags attached to pacifiers. He deeply and genuinely hopes he never again has to think about the uses for those items. "I...you were right. I want you to be that, too. My, uh. Caregiver."

 _Your Daddy,_ Venom supplies helpfully.

"Yeah. That." His face feels a little hot at the words, but warmth flutters in his chest.

_One of those pages said that ageplay falls under the umbrella of BDSM. I'd like to look into that more closely._

"Um." He definitely wasn't prepared for that, in its incongruously clinical phrasing. "You mean, like...whips and ballgags? I'm not, like, opposed, exactly, but _definitely_ not in this context, my guy." Eddie thinks of the pastel spreader bars and mentally recoils a bit.

_Not necessarily. I'm simply interested in the dynamic of the Dominant and Submissive. I want to take care of you, Eddie, but I need to know how. You don't have enough trust to submit to me yet, that became clear when I tried to help you to the bathroom. So what can I do to help you trust me completely, to fill the role I seek to fill?_

Oh, wow. That's a lot to consider. Eddie doesn't really want to think about that incident, like, ever again. "Uh, I guess you've realized this one, but don't grab me or take control of me like that. Except—fuck. I guess you might have to, depending on what's going on. If you're acting as a parent, I mean." He thinks. "It's different, though. Having you grab my whole body from the inside. I guess we just need to work into it. For now, we need to work with you not grabbing, okay?"

He can sense Venom's hesitation and suddenly understands his symbiote's own concerns, his own raging desires. "We'll get there. I do want it—I want to be yours. If you'll take care of me. I wanna give up having to think too much. It's all I do, think too much."

_Yes, Eddie, I know that. I live in your brain. Some days you make me feel like the living embodiment of a migraine._

"Look, this can work," Eddie says, trying with partial success to temper his enthusiasm, "We're working out the kinks. We just gotta be patient, go nice and slow."

 _Nice and slow,_ Venom agrees with a pause.  _And no grabbing. I made you feel unsafe in my care. I can sense that. It unsettles me. I want you to feel you can give control to me, as you did before. How can we get back to that?_

Eddie thinks of the Legos, still hidden in his closet. "We can practice."

*

The very next evening, they try again.

Eddie starts by dumping the legos out onto his bedroom floor, as an excited child would. He's decidedly not a child right now, but he and Venom have agreed that they're just going to try to relax into it. If he can change headspaces, that's great, but he's not supposed to put pressure on himself to do so. He's just going to play with his blocks, drink apple juice from his sippy cup rather than a glass, and see where things take him.

He kind of wishes he'd bought franchise-based legos; there are adults who use those, Star Wars fanatics who time themselves putting together the Death Star or the Millennium Falcon. He just got a basic lego box, and there's not much he can build with them that'll make him feel like he's anything but a grown man trying to be a little kid. So much for not putting pressure on himself.

Still, he picks up a red piece that has spokes on either end, which must mean there are little wheels somewhere in the mess of blocks on the floor. He supposes he could just try to start by building a car, or the closest thing he can build to a car with the simplistic set he got.

If they can get this to work out, he's definitely buying more legos. What the hell, maybe he will go ahead and get himself a Star Wars set. He could enjoy a night fiddling around with the Millennium Falcon regardless of his headspace.

 _Eddie,_ Venom says,  _have some of your juice._

Eddie's about to say he's not thirsty yet when he remembers he's supposed to be trying to let Venom take control, and that his symbiote is probably trying to help him ease down gently into his younger headspace. He obediently reaches for the cup and takes the spout between his lips, and even though it doesn't really work and he feels like a really ridiculous grown man, who the hell cares? There's no one here but the two of them. He can drink from a sippy cup in his own home if he wants to. He sucks down the sweet, cold juice and turns back to his legos.

He roots around a little, feeling Venom carefully observing him to see what he's building. Eddie pulled up some web pages, while they were doing their research, on how to be a good dominant and caregiver, but they've decided the best way for him to really get a feel for it is to just observe Eddie carefully and learn what's best for him. "I'm making a car," he informs his symbiote, and promptly feels stupid, but Venom says,  _tell me about it._

"I dunno," Eddie fits a rubber ring around a plastic wheel. "Couldn't think what to make. So, a car." But he does have to admit that rolling it along the floor gives him a simple, childish sense of pleasure. It's the memories, of doing this since he was very small, when building cars and having adventures were the only things he had to worry about.

He became small so easily the last time, but now his mind is resisting it, holding onto the humiliation of how last time ended. He can tell it's bothering Venom, too, that he's not able to easily take care of his needs. He worked so hard researching how to be a good caregiver, and that helps, a little, knowing he's not the only one who's ridiculously invested in this childish game. 

He still feels a little awkward about it, but he takes his sippy cup and sucks on the spout, deliberately holding it with a clumsy two-handed hold like a child would. If he wants this to work, he can't just wait for the headspace to come; he has to actively get into it, embrace it. Still sucking down juice, he lays down on his belly on the bedroom floor, swinging his feet in the air. He doesn't have to think too hard about these things; he's been holding back thoughts of longing for them as far back as he can remember. He's wanted to roll down hills and get grass stains on his knees and be tucked in at night. To feel so young and so new that a simple game seems like the most delightful and engaging thing in the whole wide world. A warm sense of calm comes over him and he feels himself sinking gently into it, happily swinging his feet. He puts down his juice and reaches for his little lego car once again.

"Hey, Daddy?" he says, softly and cautiously.

 _What is it, young one?_ Venom's so content and delighted that he finally relaxed, and Eddie can feel it inside of him, filling him with light. He wriggles happily at the thought that his daddy is this happy because  _Eddie_ is happy, and because he's little and young and because he gets to take care of him. That he really really wants to, honestly and truly, with all his heart.

"Wanna play with me? And help me think of a game?"

_Of course, Eddie. I'd love to play a game with you._

The warm light inside him glows even brighter. "So we have one car, and the good guy is in it," he decides. He thinks this lego set came with a couple of lego guys, and he rakes his hand through the pieces trying to find one. "But I dunno what mission he's trying to do. So you gotta help me make the story and build some stuff, okay?" He still hasn't found a lego guy, but he did find a bunch of other really cool pieces he thinks he wants to work with. The rest of the pieces are scattered across the floor, and he wriggles forward on his tummy to look at them better.

 _Hmm._ Daddy sounds super thoughtful, like making up little-kid games with Eddie is the most important thing in the world to him.

Eddie is so, so happy. He never thought he would have this, ever, ever, ever. It's like a cold and hollow piece of him has been all filled up with the warm light and love he's feeling. He excitedly scatters pieces across the floor to find a lego man. He's really excited to figure out this game so that he and daddy can play it together all day.  _Perhaps he could be escaping an evil scientist?_

 _"Yes!"_ Eddie exclaims. It's the perfect idea, because he knows a  _lot_ about evil scientists from everything that's been going on lately. And also he knows exactly how he wants this to happen. "I'm gonna build a jail so when we catch the evil scientist we can lock him up and he can't hurt other people. And I guess I'll build his lab too." He probably doesn't have any of the really cool pieces in this set to make a proper evil-scientist lab, but it's okay, he can get creative. And anyway, he and his daddy will definitely buy more lego sets soon, he's sure of it.

He finds a base piece. This set has a big one and a small one and he's going to use the small one for the jail, because he doesn't want to waste all his pieces making it. He probably doesn't even need to build walls for the lab, because he can just pretend it has them. Or it can just be one small part of a really big lab. But the jail cell needs to have real walls so he can have the bad guy try really hard to get out and fail. 

And building lego stuff with his daddy is really really fun because his daddy is awesome at finding the pieces he needs, slithering a tentacle out of his arm to sort through the pile and grab the right ones. "Daddy, I just thought of something."

 _Yes, Eddie?_  

"We need to figure out what the bad scientist is doing. I mean, like probably bad experiments on people, but we have to figure out which ones. It can't be like Mr. Drake, because we don't have symbiote legos." Although maybe he can find something else around the apartment to use as symbiotes. He bets Daddy would like that, getting to play as a character like himself, even though sometimes it can be fun to play as something you're not.

He wonders if symbiotes ever play pretend when they're young. Or are they even young, ever? "Daddy?"

_What is it?_

"Are there symbiote babies? Or do you get born a different way?"

_We do have an immature phase, but it's not the same babyhood that humans experience._

Eddie's not sure he really understands what that means, but he does know one thing. "That means I have a lot to teach you about playing," he informs his daddy. "We're gonna have a whole lot of fun."

 _I'm sure we will,_ Daddy says affectionately, and Eddie smiles and swings his feet some more and keeps working to the walls of the jail cell.  _I'm already appreciating these building blocks._

"Legos are the best," Eddie agrees, "But there's so much other fun stuff out there. We're gonna try all kinds of new toys."

As Daddy's slithery form squirms gently out of his body to snuggle up beside him, Eddie feels so excited but also content. They can play this for now, and Daddy can see just how awesome legos are, but he already knows there are going to be more trips to the toy store to treat himself. It's going to be hard to do it when he's a grown-up, and he'll have to get over a lot of fears and problems. But he'll have his daddy right by his side, always in his ear, helping him do what's best for himself and giving him all the things he needs.

There are gonna be so many lego sets and so many stuffed animal friends and all kinds of other things besides. But for now, with a small set of legos and a big imagination, this is enough. Enough for Eddie to have some fun and teach his daddy how to  _play._

"I've got the jail done," he announces. "Now we just need to work on the lab and we'll be ready."

And he can feel Venom curling up beside him and settling in against his side, ready to reach out and play right along with him.


End file.
